More tranny stories later!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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