You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
