Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
