I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
