after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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