so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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