Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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