Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
