my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
