I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
