I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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