I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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