i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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