mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
