today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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