Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a search helicopter?!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
