How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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