A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
