i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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