People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Still dying that you shit outside
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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