It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
