I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
