but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize