we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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