So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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