Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
