You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
