So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
