Plan B is the new Plan A
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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