Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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