Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize