I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
