yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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