U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
