so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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