I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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