oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
