he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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