one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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