Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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