We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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