haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
