Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Randomize
