He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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