Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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