please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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