Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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