Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
