She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize