I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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