WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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