I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
