She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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