so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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