Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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