In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
