What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
