i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
