You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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