last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
