Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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