i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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