I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
