I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
