i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
