it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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